Action Movie.

Hello wello funny people, I have decided to blog because I uh finally remembered my username a while ago. HAHA.

I now present to you…
Date Movie Scary Movie Action Movie! Jampacked with atypical action adventure clichés, which I know we must avoid, but too bad I’m blogging so you take it or leave it.

Essentially, the movie's plot centres around the adventures of a superhero, who can yknow morph into anything and anyone, which is cool like a million different x-men all in one person.

Action Movie begins with a the lovely Indian-princess-damsel-in-distress-hot-chiobu, who is extremely upset because a horrible monster is coming and

Hot Indian princess chiobu: OH NO my entire kingdom is going to baozha and I need help.

(Cue music: I need a herooo. I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light.)

Hot Indian princess runs to her friends (because hot Indian princess’ boyfriend a bit the busy with council stuff la) her friends are only there because every movie needs quirky personalities to add colour and life to the plot!

Yeah fellow lovely Indian princesses Di and A-see add much life. Paddle pop just adds the colour. HAHA.

Hot Indian princess: OH NO help me, my dear normal princess friends and my paddle pop friend, assuming you are even human.

Di and A-see: Okay we will help you, we are some beautifullest princesses on the planet so we will save you.

Paddle pop: okay I will try to help you by sitting here and looking colourful.
Ah but see I am smart. I know who to call.

[picks up cell phone and dials for]

some Bollywood bomb: hello did someone call for a superhero?

Paddle pop: -.- no la no. I just dialed your number for fun.

A-see: COME AND SAVE THE HOT CHIOBU INDIAN PRINCESS BECAUSE SHE IS IN DISTRESS YOU NOOB.

Some Bollywood bomb: okay okay relax I am coming. (is here) HELLO PRINCESS I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU. DON’T WORRY I WILL PROTECT YOU FOREVAH AND EVAHHHHHH. Now, what’s the problem?

Hot Indian princess tells us of how the evil monsters have come to take over her kingdom, and how her father is fretting like mad.

Hot Indian princess: These 8 legged-freaks! They are so freaky! They are freaking me out! OH NO. They are going to get me. oh save meee from the 8 legged-freaks.

OH NO THEY ARE HERE ALREADY.

This is when reinforcement is absolutely necessary! Bollywood bomb quickly calls SUPERTEDDY, who is with aiyah im too lazy to make up names already. Who is with jenny who goes
“OH EM JEE. NO YOU DO NOT WANT TO ASK SUPERTEDDY FOR HELP, YOU ALL WANT TO DIE IS IT”

Superteddy: it’s okay I have a twin to help me! it’s…

WONDERWILSON.

Yeah but of course in every movie with a pair of IMBA twins, one of them just HAS to be born evil.

But see we’re not supposed to know that till later, so pretend to be surprised later when you discover that one of them is evil.

Anyway, Superteddy and Wonderwilson stick out their chests and say


“I’ll be back” (sorry i know that was really lame)

AHA so they battle the 8 legged-freaks and they endup turning against each other cos (ew) boys like fighting cos boys are gross and boys are boys. And eventually 2 of the 8 legged-freaks manage to survive, because GASP WONDERWILSON DECIDED TO JOIN FORCES WITH THEM TO OWN EVERYONE ELSE.

The 2 legged-freaks that are left, are Dr. Evil (self explanatory) and The Hunk (HAHAHA JUST KIDDING) Bulk (HAHA OKAY SORRY KIDDING AGAIN) Hulk.

As such, the 2 legged-freaks joined forces with wonderwilson to form a band called josie and the pussycats haha okay just kidding. hell’s Charlie’s Angels. (aside: do u know how much pain it took me just to type 'Angels' to describe these three?!)

Aha but Dr. Evil says “NO ‘charlie’s Angels’ sounds uncool. Let’s be TOTALLY SPIES SPICE!”

Dr. Evil then trots off happily to the Spice Woman to get some totally spice, since it’s Rachel Harmony Day. And little India has a lot of spices like lemon grass and cinnamon and star anise.

Spice Woman: mflgoi oaiwjeoia diafoijw asidoja

Dr. Evil: I can’t hear you. Pris spik plopery.

Spice Woman: (removes black cloth thing) IT STINKS LA. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I’M WEARING IT.

The beautiful Sara Croft arrives to help.

Sara Croft: it’s okay you can go and change I will get you your spices. Wth do you need them for anyway.

Dr. Evil: KEKEKEX. MY EVIL DOINGS LA.

Meanwhile…

Wonderwilson and The Hulk try to own the bollywood bomb, under the disguise of raising him in a fancy sedan chair made out of hands.

The Hulk: WATABOMB YOU ARE DAMN HEAVY.
Wonderwilson: But we carry you anyway cos we are strange. and we are boys. therefore we feel highly compelled to show how MAN we are.

Bollywood bomb is really smart and can’t tell the difference between four hands-of-evil and a sedan chair. So I guess he deserves to get owned.

Dr. Evil returns after a long while, because he has to photowhore multiple times throughout his journey from the Totally Spice Woman shop and wherever they left off.

The Hulk: You’re back! Was about thyme. WHY YOU TAKE SO LONG.

Dr. Evil: (lies and says) There were too many pepper there. Too crowded la. Stop bugging me you horrible hulk. Just because you are big doesn’t mean you can be such a minnow!

The Hulk: Nono what I mint ter say, was oh no I am morphing to joe gargery I am glad you are back. Chill(i) la.

Dr. Evil: no way. You are horrible. I shall angst my superhero angst now, although I am not a superhero. But I shall be one now cos I want to angst anyway, and all superheroes angst.

Ah. I am now angsting. I believe the world is an illusion. I am zen. Ohmmm.

Okay Action Movie reaches a point when no one knows who is evil or good or who is dead or alive anymore. (ie. Action Movie reaches it’s end) That doesn’t matter because at the start I said something about anyone being able to morph into anything.

So essentially, what happens in the end, is that the Bollywood Bomb morphs into Multiple Man, multi-personality and multi-colour (okay darn that’s just me.). And if Multiple Man comprises so many people, then who is left to own?

(the answer is "no-one" for those gongs who are giving that question some serious pondering time)

Hot Indian princess: Thank you everybahdy for saving my life. But I cannot marry all of you, my heart only lies with one. Pikachu bollywood bomb I CHOOSE YOU. Let us now go and report this piece of good news to the king.


Hello everyone. I am King Tut tut tut.

Hot Indian princess: King Tut tut tut, pris pay ALL these superheroes (yeah even the blur at the back, who happens to be janell HAHA) a huge ton of money cos they saved me from the 8 legged-freaks and totally spice. I LOVE THEM but of course my one true love is –

King Tut tut tut: There is no such thing as love. There are only loves and their differences. Tut tut tut.

-Finito-